When Love Turns Harmful: The Consequences of Always Taking Your Child’s Side
Every parent wants to protect their child it’s a natural instinct born from love and responsibility. In conversation with the media pafikutaikab.org but when protection turns into blind defense, that same love can unintentionally cause harm. Psychologists warn that constantly taking a child’s side, even when they are clearly in the wrong, can disrupt emotional growth, weaken moral understanding, and strain relationships between parents, teachers, and society.
The Thin Line Between Protection and Enabling
According to Dr. Nisa Pratiwi, a child and family psychologist in Jakarta, the difference between supporting and enabling lies in how parents respond to mistakes. “Protecting a child from humiliation is healthy,” she explains. “But denying their responsibility or blaming others every time something goes wrong teaches avoidance, not accountability.”
This pattern, often referred to as “defensive parenting,” has become increasingly common, especially as social media amplifies parental emotions and public scrutiny. In recent school-related cases — such as a principal allegedly slapping a student — discussions online often reveal how parents rush to defend their child before understanding what truly happened.
“Parents react emotionally because they see their child as an extension of themselves,” Dr. Nisa adds. “Admitting the child’s mistake can feel like admitting personal failure.”
Emotional Damage Beneath the Surface
While the intention is love, the result can be emotionally damaging. When parents always side with their child, they inadvertently communicate that rules are flexible and accountability is optional. Over time, this leads to what psychologists call entitlement conditioning — a belief that one is always right, even in the face of evidence.
Dr. Arif Wibisono, a behavioral psychologist, explains: “Children who grow up never being corrected by their parents tend to develop poor emotional regulation. They struggle with frustration, rejection, and criticism because they were never taught to tolerate discomfort.”
Such children may also face social challenges. Teachers, peers, and future employers often perceive them as resistant to feedback. This can result in conflicts, poor teamwork, and fragile self-esteem — a heavy price for a lifetime of being overprotected.
The Parent-Teacher Divide
Constantly taking the child’s side can also create mistrust between parents and educators. Teachers who feel undermined may hesitate to discipline or guide students effectively. “When parents attack every form of correction, they weaken the very support system meant to help their child grow,” Dr. Arif notes.
Psychologists urge parents to remember that school is not the enemy — it’s a partner in shaping values and responsibility. Collaborative communication, rather than confrontation, creates a healthier learning environment for the child.
Building Accountability with Compassion
Experts recommend that parents practice empathetic accountability — guiding with warmth but maintaining firm boundaries. Instead of immediately defending, parents should first listen to all sides, acknowledge the child’s feelings, and discuss the consequences of their actions.
Dr. Nisa suggests phrases like, “I understand you felt hurt, but let’s talk about what you could have done differently.” This approach helps the child feel heard while still learning from the experience.
The Takeaway
True love is not about shielding children from every mistake — it’s about helping them grow through those mistakes. Constantly taking their side may protect their pride today but can harm their resilience tomorrow.
As Dr. Arif concludes, “A parent’s job isn’t to make the world easier for their child. It’s to prepare their child to face the world — with empathy, humility, and accountability.”
Source: Pafikutaikab